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A versatile product, is car insurance. It's sometimes surprisingly cheap, too. For instance; Zinglebert the alien was making his daily cup of green tea when his android phone rang. He was really surprised, as he couldn't usually get a signal in his neat semi-detached on Alpha Centauri's third moon, but nevertheless he answered and was pleasantly surprised to find it was his cleaner, Marjorie, who came once a week to do his space dusting.

Marjorie was in a pickle, she'd been invited to Planet Earth in two weeks time, to go and visit her son Martin. He'd moved there many light years ago, because he'd heard you could get nice cheese and that the television signal was much better (his favourite programme was Dr Who).

Marjorie had her own space buggy and a driver's licence, but hadn't driven since a small accident on the car park just outside Barnard's Star had left her shaken up. Thus she was a bit clueless as to how to get going. Most importantly, she needed advice on the best kind of insurance to get for her galactic wheels so that when she landed on earth, she knew she'd be safe if she had an accident.

Zinglebert knew just what to do. He got onto his favourite search engine (Google Earthlings) and tapped in "Intergalactic Car Insurance" - a space buggy is just a sophisticated car, after all - and he printed off everything Marjorie needed to know.

Here's Zinglebert's Guide To Alpha Centaurian Space Buggy Insurance:

Third Party

Third Party policies give the space buggy only a limited protection. They will cover Marjorie in the event that she injures someone in her space buggy in a crash on the Milky Way, or if she damaged someone else's rocket. However, for a long trip like Marjorie was going on, it simply wouldn't give her enough lee-way for all those light years she needed to travel.

Third Party, Fire And Meteor Shower

This type of alien insurance covers all of the above, plus a small amount of added extra insurance if the space buggy catches fire or gets caught in a Perseid Shower before it lands on earth. It's slightly better, but still not enough - it would be OK if Marjorie was simply planning on pottering round Pluto or nipping to Neptune but not for much else.

Fully Comet-Prehensive

Zinglebert recommended fully comp to Marjorie as being the one she'd need to have a safe trip to earth. It would cover every eventuality and problem that her space buggy might encounter, from accidental or malicious damage from a stray asteroid and even things like paying for a new star-roof or solar-screen motor. As an optional extra she can even get starside assistance if her warp drive warps the space-time continuum! She'd be able to drive safely through the solar system knowing that whatever happened to her she'd be protected.

Marjorie took Zinglebert's advice, took out a Fully Comet-Prehensive Policy and drove off to visit Martin the following week. She had a lovely time and even brought back a present for Zinglebert - a lovely new top that said "I've Been To Earth And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt"...

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